What I Learned About Myself During Our Stay in the NICU

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A year ago TODAY, I took my last pregnancy picture.  I had an OBGYN appt that morning.  By 10:45am, I was told to call my husband and it was time to have this baby via cesarean.  

I remember calling my hubby that day and not being able to get a hold of him on his cell.  He was in a presentation at Burns and McDonnell and I was determined to not have our last baby without him present.  I remember standing in the parking lot of Saint Luke's East hospital chatted with the lovely receptionist at his work and explaining I needed to to get a hold of him ASAP and it was urgent.  "Mam....I'm having a baby in approximately 20 minutes!"  I could hear her voice on the intercom while on the phone with her...so calm..."Brett Fisher...you have a call from your wife on line 3...Brett Fisher". No answer.  I sat myself outside the elevator to go up to the maternity ward.  I was suppose to go straight up stairs BUT I was not having this baby alone. (Looking back, I should have gone straight up stairs and listened to my OBGYN)  

I FINALLY got him on the phone and he was so shocked and left without finishing his presentation.  There is something to be said about having a loved one in the room while you deliver. It is needed!  Especially with a cesarean delivery.  It wasn't my first rodeo, but I still had fears about the "What Ifs".  

With the help of an amazing OBGYN, we delivered our third boy via our third cesarean. Yes, I feel like I am an expert in cesarean recovery lol. Each one has taken a little longer than the first due to scar tissue from the surgery before.  BUT in the end, this momma gets to snuggle the most precious little boy on the planet. 

When your child is placed on your chest, the world seems to stop.  I had no idea what was going on down below with sewing me up, nor did I seem to care.  I was a mother to this beautiful baby boy who has completed our family.  Nothing else seemed to matter.

On December 13th, I remember waking up and my husband taking pictures of me and Baby Hudson and stating how he thought he looked orange.  Not when you looked at him, but when you looked at pictures of him.  

Soon after, a nurse came in to check his vitals and said the same thing. The hospital ended up checking his blood levels earlier than they normally would. Around 10:30pm on Dec. 13th when we got the labs back, and I received a phone call from our pediatrician (who I adore AND who happened to be on call-praise the Lord!) and we were transferred to the NICU at Saint Luke’s East.

Hudson’s bilirubin was 20 or 21 during the early hours of his life. We found out he was Combs positive and ABO incapable. He was immediately put on the highest level of lights to help decrease his bilirubin levels.

My milk was coming in (yes, earlier than most) and I was recovering from my third cesarean so I took the lovely wheel chair down to the NICU multiple times a day to visit my baby and deliver milk. We were sent home after about a week in the NICU and followed up with our pediatrician’s office the following morning for labs. I received the dreaded phone call a few hours later from our pedicatrian (where I’m pretty sure I bawled) to head back to the NICU. I re-packed my bag and called family over to watch the older boys while we headed back into the NICU. It’s there I stayed in the same room with my baby for the following week. Each day sending prayers, asking a zillion questions to the medical staff while waiting for answers.

I was in a deep-dark place mentally while in the NICU for those two weeks. I am still in awe and so incredibly grateful for the love and support we received while in the NICU. We had friends/ family stop in just to chat (MUCH needed), meals brought to our house for the boys and to the NICU for Brett and I, cards and gifts dropped off as well as a basket of goodies and a little Christmas tree for Hudson’s NICU room.

It truly takes a village to raise a baby. My mental state NEEDED that support. I realized with the help and support from everyone around me (and the amazing NICU staff at SLE), I was strong enough to be patient and make it through that difficult chapter in our lives. Childbirth is tough, but then living the first few weeks in the the NICU is hard too. AND then the first few months of colicky baby, food allergies, 4 nights of sleeping through the night in a year...I know…I CAN DO ANYTHING I put my mind too. My gratitude journal has been my daily go to and has changed my life and my mindset. I am one strong mother and I, like my son, am a fighter.

I know my short time in the NICU cannot compare to what other mothers go through, but I do know, I would not be where I am today without the love and generosity of others during our first few weeks with Baby Hudson.

Today my baby turned O N E. As a reflect back on last year and our journey with him, I just want to say thank you. Thank you to all of you who have continued to follow my journey and who have supported my business. If you ever need anything, please reach out! Have a blessed day!

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